I took Jon to Wendy’s fast food
restaurant the other day…well…let’s say, I tried.
He emerged from his room in the
early afternoon, around 1pm, desperately needing a shower, shave and change of
clothes and headed for the garage to get in the car; his signal that, ” I’d
like to go someplace now.”
I told him there would be no
going anywhere looking like he just crawled out from under a rock. He frowned
and shuffled back inside to the bathroom.
By the time we got in the car, Jon
had showered, put on clean clothes and it was almost 7:30 pm.
He was also wearing a plastic headband
with paper Mickey Mouse ears taped to it, garden gloves and a flowered belt
from my closet. Random items were tucked between the belt and his waist, a
plastic sword, a drumstick, a long glow stick with a bright red heart on the end
and several other unidentified objects.
He handed me a note and I stared
at the scrawled print trying to figure out what it said. Considering the way he
was decorated, I had a feeling I already knew.
I deciphered the words, DISENI
and MIKEY MOSE and realized I was correct. He wanted to go to Disney.
Problem number one, it was
already late and we don’t live in Kissimmee anymore. From there, Disney was a fifteen
minute drive. Now that we’re located thirty miles north of Orlando, Disney is an
hour away, maybe more depending on interstate traffic.
Problem number two, our Disney passes
expired several years ago and Jon doesn’t understand it costs a bundle to get
in the park and is barely worth the price when you’re staying all day. Forget
it if you’re showing up an hour or two before it closes.
I handed the note back, “Sorry Dude,
it’s too late to go to Disney now. You took so long getting ready we don’t have
much time to go anywhere. How about Wendy’s or McDonalds. They’re both open
late.”
He scowled as he took the note
back and turned it over. I waited another ten minutes until he finally wrote
WEDYS on the back. By the time we pulled into Wendy’s parking lot it was
8:05pm.
I shut off the car and told him
that his costume was pretty impressive but “If you don’t want people staring at
you all night then you better take all that stuff off and leave it in the car.”
Sometimes he cares about that, other
times, not. He carefully took everything off except the flowered belt.
I got out of the car and walked
over to wait for him near the door. It was now 8:30.
Jon stayed in the car at least
another ten minutes trying to decide what he wanted to bring inside. Finally
the door opened and another five minutes passed, then two legs appeared beneath.
After several minutes went by he stood
up. He remained statue still in that spot for about five minutes.
He finally shut the door and stayed next to the car for nearly ten minutes, pushing buttons on an imaginary
keypad under the door handle.
I pulled out my remote and hit the lock button. The
horn beeped. Jon frowned.
It took him another eight minutes
to walk from the car to the sidewalk curb. Once he was actually on the sidewalk
that led to the entrance, I went inside, sat down at a table near the window
and continued to watch his slow progress toward the door.
While I watched, a woman who had
passed me thirty minutes prior, as I waited on the sidewalk, finished eating and
came back by me to leave. She glanced out the window at Jon, who was slowly
making his way to the door in intermittent starts and pauses.
“Are you with him?” She asked.
“Yes.” I forced a smile.
I was hungry and tired of waiting.
Honestly, I really wanted to go outside and give my kid a big boot in the
behind with my foot to get him moving. It took every ounce of self control I
had and a lot of Jesus talking to stay in that chair and keep waiting.
I also realized if someone saw me
do that, I’d probably be in handcuffs for assaulting a disabled person in Wendy’s
parking lot. So I stayed put and prayed for more patience and grace and tried
to put my thoughts on something other than my snail slow child.
“Is he your son?” the woman asked,
not waiting for an answer. “I’m a special ed teacher in Orlando,” she
continued.”It sure takes a lot of patience sometimes doesn’t it?”
Sometimes?!!?
“Yes it does,” I replied, “And I
think I’m about to run out if he doesn’t get in here pretty soon.”
I smiled again, hoping she wouldn’t
think worse of me for what I’d just said. She was trying to complement me after
all.
Her preschool size grandson was
pulling on her, stretching her arm so far he slid sideways to the floor. He was
ready to go and I found myself wishing Jon was like him; wishing I could be
over the agonizing amount of waiting that happens whenever I take Jon any place.
The woman smiled back. “You are a very patient person,”
she said.
I was thankful what I was really feeling wasn’t showing on the
outside.
I realized then that we easily confuse self control with patience. I was anything BUT patient right
then. My ability, by God’s grace, to control myself when I wanted to do
anything but had been perceived as patience.
“Thank You God, for self control,” I said
out loud to God and myself as she turned to leave.
Self control isn’t a popular topic
in our impatient culture but it’s such a crucial foundation to the other
character qualities we need. Love, peace, endurance, tolerance, kindness,
gentleness, patience all start with putting self aside for the good of another.
Proverbs 25:28 states, “A man without
self-control is like a
city broken into and left without walls.” Sounds to me like a place left defenseless. Without
self control, all boundaries are gone and every destructive thing has access to
our life.
My outing
with Jon didn’t end any better than it started. He came through the restaurant
door at 9:25pm. We ordered by 9:40 and I sat back down while Jon took his time
at the soda machine and condiment counter.
I ate
quickly and was booting up my laptop, relaxing into a few hours of writing time, when the
manager walked back to let me know they were closing.
We had to leave.
“At 10 o’clock?”
I asked in disbelief. Hadn’t I seen advertisements, posters and billboards announcing
Wendy’s late night hours all over the place?
Jon hadn’t
even sat down yet. He was still pumping ketchup into little paper cups.
I sighed,
put my laptop away and readied myself for the struggle coming to get him back
out the door he had just come through.
Thank God
for self control.
Like my good
friend Glee always says, “Just ‘cause self control is last on the list doesn’t
mean it’s not important,”
Galatians 5:22-23 But the
fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control..