Lessons From My Garden-The Other Side of Darkness

Darkness.

I’ve experienced it. You have too. 

Maybe you’re there right now, a time in life when everything safe, secure and comfortable has been uprooted. 

Turned upside down. 

Night may have descended in the middle of a bright sunny day with a phone call, a diagnosis, a betrayal, a loss, a failure. 

In an instant, you are overshadowed by gloom and despair and not one glimmer of light flickers to guide you to a solution. 

You feel trapped in a dark place with no way out. Abandoned. Alone. Afraid.

What are we to do in the darkness, through the long night of struggle and heartache?

I’ve noticed several amazing plants in my garden that illustrate the answer to this question in different ways:

PRAY

The Cassia tree, abundant in clusters of symmetrical leaves, is covered with bright yellow flowers in Autumn. A small shrub-like tree, it grows twelve to fifteen feet tall. 

Sulpher butterflies, the large yellow-winged variety, are attracted to the Cassia and will rest on its branches even when it isn’t flowering.

An amazing characteristic of the Cassia is how it folds its leaves together at dusk, as if putting little hands together for bedtime prayers.

The Cassia “prays” all night and when the sun rises in the morning the leaves open to another day of butterfly welcoming.

A life without prayer is a life without light. What better time to pray than when we can’t see where we’re going?

The lyric to an old hymn put it this way:

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

PRAISE

The Four O’clock plant has small trumpet-like flowers that remain closed during the day. 

When evening comes they open, displaying a mass of color across the top of their waxy stems and releasing a mild, sweet fragrance into the night. 

As we sit on the patio in the evening the delightful scent is carried to us on the breeze. This flower puts on its greatest display in the darkness. 

The Four O’clock is not concerned about the setting sun. It was made to rejoice in the night.

Paul and Silas, in the darkness of a dreary prison cell (Acts 16), praised God in the middle of the night, the fragrance of their worship carried on the wind of the Holy Spirit to God’s throne.

Their praise brought the answer to their problem and set them free.

PATIENCE

The Poinsettia plant is famous for its beautiful red Christmas blooms. 

The blooms are actually the plant’s green leaves which slowly transform into a brilliant red color as the daylight hours shorten and nights grow longer.

Poinsettias need the long dark nights of autumn and early winter, to convert leaves from green to red. The process takes about six to eight weeks but the plant can only produce the bright red color we all enjoy, in darkness.

The night seasons of life are mostly unwelcome, but they create something beneficial in us and for others, if we let them. 

James 1:3-4, shows us that these troubles test our faith and produce patience. Once patience has done its work, we will be complete and have everything we need for a God-filled life.

Some of the greatest transformative experiences occur in the night seasons of life. 

My plants never fuss in the darkness but yield to its process. When the sun rises in the morning, they are glorious to behold.

Keep praying and praising and be patient.

You’ll be surprised by the beauty found on the other side of darkness, when the light shines again.

Job 23: 8 Behold, I go forward, but he [God] is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I will come out as gold.

Psalm 18: 6 But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.

Psalm 120:1 In my distress I cried to the Lord, and He heard me.

Isaiah 50:10 Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God.

If I'm So Special Why Don't I feel Like It?

I’ve heard the word ‘special’ directed toward me as a mother for many years, since our first child was born with Down syndrome then later developed autism. 

"God gives these special kids to special people like you because He's knows you can handle it.”

When you ask expectant parents whether they are hoping for a boy or girl the most common answer is, “I don’t care as long as the baby is healthy and normal.”  

 I have never heard anyone say, “Oh either is fine, but I’m really hoping we have a special child!”  

Other than the few amazing heroes who willingly adopt disabled children, no one really longs to have a disabled child. The irony that you are suddenly special if you get one has always puzzled me.

Regardless, I know people mean well and are trying to be kind and encouraging so I usually smile and move on with the conversation.  

On especially stressful Jon days, when I'm not much in a “Yahoo!” frame of mind, I've thought of asking (but have never done so) those who tell me how special I am, “Truthfully now, would you feel special if your child was born with ____________ (fill in the blank with any disability)?"

Our son, Jonathan, displays frequent resistant behaviors that can be challenging and one morning I remember, was particularly difficult. All directives and attempts to get Jon to school on time were met with opposition and finally resulted in Jon locking himself in the bathroom and refusing to open the door. 

I drove him to school everyday and by the time we arrived - late again - I was incredibly stressed and on the verge of tears.  

David, our youngest child, and a friend who was visiting from another state, accompanied me. We had made plans to spend the day at one of Central Florida’s theme parks, so after Jon was finally delivered to his classroom, we headed to the nearest store to purchase a few items and visit the ATM. 

I parked the car and the three of us were walking toward the store entrance when I saw him, a silver haired man wearing a bright orange vest and a big smile. He was holding a plastic container for the obvious purpose of taking donations. 

I was still revved up from my morning encounter with Jon, taking deep breaths and forcing my mind to move on to calmer thoughts and the fun day ahead.

As I walked past the orange-vested man he thrust the container toward me and in a most kind and gentle voice asked, “Maam, would you like to donate to the disabled this morning?” 

This unfortunate guy had no idea how poorly timed his inquiry was. He had no clue what I had just been through or what he was in for.  I stopped mid-stride, turned and glared at him.  

That simple question was the last straw, as the saying goes.  All the pent up frustration still swirling around inside exploded out of me like hot lava from an erupting volcano.  

Like some sort of lunatic, I yelled, “Oh sure! I’d just love to,” right in his face.

I ripped open my purse, clawed through my wallet, grabbed the first available paper bill I found and crammed five dollars inside that container so forcefully the surprised man almost dropped it on the sidewalk.  

Then I loudly declared, “There you go sir, something for the disabled.  Now what do you plan to do for their mothers?!" as I turned and stomped inside the store leaving him with his mouth hanging open and my free paper flower dangling from his fingers.

I didn’t feel very special that day. Still don’t for that matter.  If I am entirely honest, I often feel very inadequate and way too tired for this job. 
  

Jill Kelly, author and speaker, says sometimes God does give you more than you can handle so He can show Himself strong in and through you. 

In my weakness, He is made strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

So I've figured something out in the midst of all this. God is trying to make me into something special and this child is part of the plan, stamped indelibly into the blueprint of my life.  

This design wasn’t included in the life I had visualized when I looked ahead many years ago.  And there are times even now when I look forward and struggle with an overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty for my son’s future.  

But this I am sure of, God can be trusted with every detail of life. If I continually lean into Him, He provides everything I need to press on.  

Keeping my focus on Jesus as I learn, in my weakness, to reflect Him to a hurting world, is the ultimate goal. How I reach that goal is often a blend of His grace and my endurance. 

I have come so far from the person I was at the beginning of this journey. I trust somewhere along the way or at least near the end of the road I will finally reach a resemblance of something special in God's eyes. 

Because in God’s kingdom, being His ‘special child’ is the highest compliment and honor! 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

Crash Course

Joseph came from a family line of wealthy livestock herders all the way back to his great-great grandfather, Abraham. How was a sheep herder going to learn the administration skills needed to be second in command to the nation of Egypt? How was he going to go from the pasture to the palace? 

Joseph was favored, handpicked by God for something big and when his jealous brothers threw him into that pit they didn’t realize they were catapulting Joseph into the very thing they hated him for. On the far end of their hatred and jealousy was Joseph’s destiny - one they would eventually bow down to just as Joseph's dream had revealed.

As a slave in Potiphar’s house and the General Manager of a prison he learned the administration skills he was going to need to bring an entire nation through one of the worst famines ever recorded in the known world at that time. He learned protocol for management: how to handle business with all of its accounting and transactions. He learned how to deal with difficult people, criticism, unfair accusation and temptation.  He also learned about forgiveness, mercy, humility, patience and endurance. Joseph received a crash course in Preparation For Royalty 101. School was in session and the curriculum was difficult!

Are you in a place you find uncomfortable, don’t understand or even despise right now? Would you think about it in a different way today? Maybe this time and place is preparation for the greater thing God has planned up ahead. Don’t waste it! Look around, pay attention, apply yourself to wisdom, learn and grow there and in due time you will be promoted from what you don’t see into the clarity of your task and fulfilling purpose. 

God is working in every difficult situation of your life for your good, so work with Him, not against Him, and be encouraged!

 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. Genesis 45:4-8

(Read the entire amazing story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50).

Drive-through Faith

In a hungry hurry? Just drive up, place your order, exchange your payment at the window for a bagful of dinner and run.

Need money in a rush? Drive in, slide your card into the slot, press a few buttons and out pops cash. Snatch it and go. 

Thirsty? Insert some loose change into the machine, select a number and a cold drink tumbles into your inpatient hands. 

Drive-through establishments are icons of our smart, fast moving, multi-tasking, self serving culture. Fast foods, banks, dry cleaners, even a few churches provide busy people with instant, have-it-your-way convenience. As agreeable as this may be to our busy lifestyles, it has also contributed to a society that has come to expect immediate solutions and results in every area of life, even in areas of faith. We are not very good at waiting anymore.

I’ve been praying for several years about a few things and have yet to see results I want; in fact God appears to be silent to some of my requests. On a recent day, while whining to God about how long the answers were taking, this phrase dropped into my mind; ‘drive-through faith.’  I knew God was asking me to think about the level of faith I possess. If my faith expects quick and easy access to whatever I desire at the moment or asks for His stamp of approval on all my plans instead of His, then it isn’t faith at all. 

So how are we Christ’s followers, to react when instant healing, provision, solutions aren’t forthcoming? What do we do when Heaven’s drive up window appears to be closed and the divine vending machine in the sky seems to be empty?  

Hebrews chapter eleven gives us a clue. It lists the Sunday school lesson, heroes of faith that we love to remember; Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Joseph, Rahab, Gideon, Samson, Samuel and others. As if these didn’t have enough anxiety waiting for resolution of their troubles, this chapter also reminds us of many unnamed believers who faced unimaginable circumstances. Those who were poor, mistreated, oppressed, wandering, hiding, tortured, mocked, whipped, imprisoned, chained, and murdered for their faith. Verse 38 informs us “they were too good for this world,” but regardless, they were here, facing huge obstacles and faith challenges. But honestly, verse 39 is the one I’d really like to cross out of my Bible, “All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised.”  Yes, they went to their graves without the magic fairy wand of blab-it and grab-it, name-it-and-claim-it faith wrapping up all their troubles in the one easy step. I have to admit, reading that doesn’t excite me.

Sometimes God gives us those wonderful instant resolutions to problems and sometimes He waits, for a long time. And then, there’s those hard to swallow moments when His answer is,”No, not this time.” Because God is sovereign, His eternal time table rarely corresponds with our earthly clock. Because God is a loving Father, He doesn’t give us everything we think we need. Trusting, believing and enduring when we don’t see the end in sight, the light at the end of a dark tunnel, is the greatest faith of all. Jesus said to His disciple, Thomas, “You believe because you have seen, but blessed are those who have not seen and still believe.” (John 20:29)

God is most interested in maturing and establishing in us, faith for the long haul. The goal is a faith that endures, solid and steady regardless of outcomes and circumstances. Faith is not one dimensional and drive-through faith is never enough to grow the endurance and discipline needed to outlast or overcome the hardships we encounter here. Quick-fix faith is exciting when it happens, but learning to balance contentment and patience with faith is essential for all the times God’s plan or timing doesn’t match our own. 

Romans 4:18 says Abraham “hoped against hope”. When all hope was gone, when the impossible loomed like a mountain before him, he believed God’s promise anyway and he waited. In whatever I am hoping and longing for, God desires to grow me into a level of faith that is so natural it’s like breathing; one that relies on Him without struggle or doubt. He is calling me to a place of abiding confidence, rest, peace and absolute trust. I have the option to remain as a selfish, pouty child who doesn’t want to play anymore when things don’t go my way or submit to God’s maturing process.

Will I trust Him at all times, in all things, especially when I’m not getting the results I want right now? God is asking me to trust Him with my unresolved problems and His timing and wisdom in solving them. It's not always easy but I’m learning that the best answer is,”Yes Lord. Teach me, help me to place my hope, faith and confidence at all times, ONLY in You!”

And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” Luke 17:5

Are We There Yet?

A while ago I traveled from Florida to the northeast and back and in doing so came to a conclusion about myself, I love going places but I hate getting there. This is something I’ve known for a while but was reluctant to admit. I am not a good traveler by plane or car. Airports and planes annoy me and long car trips bore me. Ironically, I find it almost impossible to sleep in a plane but after driving for more than an hour I’m nodding off. Because I’m prone to motion sickness, there isn’t much I can do in a car that requires having my focus off the horizon for more than a few minutes at a time.

 

As I sat in the airport, waiting to board the plane and contemplating this introspection, I questioned whether this fault could also apply to my life. Am I headed for the destination without enjoying the journey? Sometimes I feel like the little kid in the backseat, asking in continuous five minute intervals, “Are we there yet?” 

As a member of the Baby Boomer generation, I've lived in an era where we have fast and easy access to most anything we want, even if we can't afford it. Discontent and impatience run deep through our core. We want 'it' now and when 'it' finally comes we are soon bored or unhappy again and move on to the next big event or thing we think will bring happiness and satisfaction. When we are five we can't wait to be 6. When we're 13 we can't wait to be 18. When we're 18 we can't wait to be 21. When we're 50 we want to be 21 again.  We can't wait for: the weekend, vacation, graduation, freedom from our parents, the new car, the next paycheck, that promotion, the next bonus, a new house, time off, the kids to grow up, grandchildren, retirement, or to: find our soul mate, get married, have a baby, get that awesome job, have more money and on and on....We waste so much time thinking, hoping and longing for what hasn't happen yet that we miss whole blocks of enjoyment in the now.  "If only....then things would be good."  When life becomes a fast forward video flashing from highlight to highlight, we miss out on much of what gives it meaning today.

Philippians 3:12-14 tells me that Paul ‘wasn’t there yet’. He was still in travel mode, pressing on toward the destination. There is a race, a journey, an adventure, we are all on and according to Mr. Paul the goal is this: I want to know Him [Jesus]. I want to have the same power in my life that raised Jesus from the dead. I want to understand and have a share in His sufferings and be like Christ in His death (verse 10 NLV). I agree. I want the power, the understanding, the answers, the miracles, goose bumps and fun stuff of life… but… the suffering?! The word ‘press’ in this passage comes from two Greek verbs that mean to pursue and to persecute or suffer. Either Paul is crazy or he knows something I’m still in the process of figuring out.

 I 'm convinced, since Paul writes a good portion of the New Testament from prison, he understands that we don’t arrive at our destination quickly or easily. It involves a lifetime of travel with many potholes and detours along the way. He tells the church in verse sixteen, so let us keep on obeying the same truth we have already been following. In other words just keep doing what you’ve been doing. Not very exciting is it? Continue on, plod on, one step at a time, one day at a time, pressing on and on and on…. 

I remember as a young wife and new mom, reading Proverbs 31, the one that lists the endless virtues of a Biblical superwoman. Incompetency and inadequacy overwhelmed me when comparing my efforts to hers. I mentioned my feelings to an older and wiser friend and her reply put me at ease. “Diane,” she said,” the Proverbs 31 woman didn’t do all those things in a day; she did them over a lifetime.” 

Life is a process and it is important to be fully aware and present in all of it, the highlights, the victories, the mundane and difficult; all of it matters. All of it is opportunity for change, growth and forward motion. Instead of rushing from one mountain top experience to the next I’m slowly discovering the value of the valley. 

When I travel now, I practice being patient and tolerant, mostly out of necessity and in spite of my dislike of security lines, airplanes or long, boring car rides. Being frustrated and miserable has no value for me or anyone around me and subtracts from the eventual pleasure and purpose of my destination. The same is true for this journey through life. With Jesus as my travel companion, I don’t need to keep asking, ‘’Are we there yet?’’ If I take His hand and keep pressing forward, He will see to it that I arrive at my proper destination, both on time and greatly improved over where our trip began.

Philippians 1:6 … being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.