Monday, March 25, 2013

Wandering

I wrote this in 2005 when we lived in Kissimmee, FL. David is married now and out on his own. Jon is still wandering....



Jonathan wandered off again this evening.  It always happens when we’re busy and focused on something else, a phone call, project or work in the house or outside.  First he’s there and then suddenly he’s gone.  I fail to understand how a person who, most of the time, moves slower than a snail, can disappear so fast.  

We did the customary searching in the usual places and when he didn’t show up, called the police.  The search helicopter eventually spotted him walking around in the eight hundred plus home sub-division, which faces our back property line with a long and tall white vinyl fence that we have annoyingly named ‘The Great Wall of China’.   We are privileged to view this glaring white reminder of growth and development in Central Florida where trees and thick jungle flora once thrived.  Jon must have somehow crossed the drainage ditch, full of water from recent rains that extends between the two properties, to get over there because he was covered with mud.  If only he would dedicate his determination to more useful purposes.



In the middle of all this confusion, one of the three police officers who came to the search party, drove her patrol car off the edge of our driveway into the drainage ditch out by the road.  The back of the car hung up on the driveway’s cement edge and the front hung in the ditch. It took two hours of waiting and a tow truck to remove it.  She didn't leave until after the sun went down. 

Our neighbors across the street, who graciously help us look for Jon whenever he disappears, says the neighborhood was pretty boring until we moved in. I'm not sure what that means. Maybe we provide cheap entertainment; maybe they secretly wish we’d leave.



David called while all this was going on.  He was up in Orlando with a friend at Vans Skate Park flying and flipping around on his skateboard.   This is a normal activity for a fifteen year old.  Searching for your twenty five year old with a troop of police officers and a helicopter is not usually considered a normal activity.  But for us it has become one.



 “What’s going on?” David asks.  Why don’t you guys come up and meet me and we’ll have dinner at this new seafood restaurant that just opened here?” 



“Can’t,” I reply, “Jon’s missing, cops are here looking for him.”



“Again?” David responds with a sigh.  “OK, well call me back when you find him.”



Because we always do find Jon when he goes off on his excursions, this conversation occurs like it’s an everyday event, nonchalantly and without panic. 



Jon comes home in the back of a patrol car and gets out with a Cheshire Cat grin on his face.  Most fun he’d had in a while I think.  We thank the officers for their help and they cheerfully  reassure us, “That’s what we’re here for, just call if it happens again." 

It's not a matter of 'if' but 'when' is what I'm thinking, but don't say so.



I realize how grateful I am for these public servants, even the one who left huge gouge marks in the side of our driveway and little pieces of broken cement lying in the ditch.  I also realize how grateful I am for my God who always keeps this wandering son safe every time he disappears.  There must be some pretty resourceful angels assigned to him.  And I’m really happy to know that God, who gives us our children, can also be trusted to take good care of them even when we can’t.  

We will continue to call on Him for patience and grace needed to care for this special guy in our lives and will call the police whenever necessary too.



For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone. Psalm 91:11-12


Sunday, March 24, 2013

Inclusion



 In 1975 Congress approved a law which gave all disabled children access to free public education and mandated that schools provide individualized instruction in the least restrictive environment possible. This was a great victory for previous generations of families whose children had been secluded from schools and society because of physical or mental delays and spearheaded, if not total acceptance, at least the tolerance that people with disabilities experience today. 

By the time our son, Jonathan entered preschool in 1983, “inclusion” was the buzz word of special education and children with mental delays were being mainstreamed into regular classrooms with the idea that being with their “typical” peers would create positive, normative role models for them. The pendulum swung from isolation to total access and Jon, who was born in 1980, is part of a generation that was first to grow up in this inclusive environment.

My own pendulum has swung back and forth over the years as we dealt with the positives and negatives of mainstreaming. Now that Jon is an adult, I’m seeing the end results of the concept in real time. I have come to the conclusion that it is not a one size fits all package. Inclusion worked out fairly well in the elementary years. Jon had some friends at school, but being in a regular classroom didn’t guarantee invites to sleepovers and birthday parties or getting picked for the dodge ball game. The phone or doorbell seldom rang after school or on weekends, with requests for Jon to come out and play. 

The nuances of inclusion and being around regular developing peers can give kids like Jon the hope that they will eventually live a “normal” life, like everyone else. That can lead to disappointment and frustration for those who are cognitive enough to know that isn't happening for them. Once Jon’s peers reached the age when they began driving, dating, going off to college, joining the military or finally getting married and starting their own families, inclusion became a mute point. Everyone else moved on and Jon remained where they left him. 

I recently read a news story about a school in Ohio that is trying what they refer to as “reverse inclusion”, bringing the typical high school-er into the special ed classroom as part of their curriculum, to interact with and assist their disabled peers (http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2013/03/19/in-twist-inclusion/17525/). Some professionals and parents are offended by the idea, saying it is still segregation and makes people with disabilities little else but a project.

I’m not so sure.  Maybe bringing others into the world of the disabled, instead of always trying to fit them into ours, is a welcome addition. To truly understand the challenges of the disabled, their reality must be entered rather than viewed from the sidelines. It’s easy to ignore a special needs peer in a regular classroom while you laugh and talk with your other friends, but it is impossible to ignore him when you are on his turf and up to your eyebrows in his challenges.

I’ve discovered what is preached in the school system does not always translate well into the real world of adult life. While schools may create the environment of inclusion, what actually takes place in the community for people with developmental delays costs money and a lot of it. With state budgets shrinking, the services available to give people with disabilities the most “normal” life possible ( which is the ultimate goal of special education inclusion) are limited at best and many of the people who interact with disabled adults, providing respite and companion care, job coaching, supported living or transportation are usually family and paid “friends”.

Should inclusion be stopped? Absolutely not. I believe that Jon’s function level was elevated and he benefited in many ways because of it. But it is not the utopia that some professionals like to hang their PHD’s on, after all inclusion is not just a law, theory or experiment but a matter of the heart. Maybe a few of these typical kids in Ohio who participate in the world of their special needs peers will later develop a heart for truly “including” adults with disabilities without getting paid to do so. Maybe they will be the ones that reach out to invite a disabled person to their home for dinner, to a movie, for a walk or to church. Maybe they will be the ones who won’t mind dealing with some of the issues that can come with developmental delays in exchange for the joy and friendship that is returned. Just maybe…

Inclusion may now be viewed as the politically correct version of assisting and incorporating the disabled population into everyday life, but based on our experience and in my very humble opinion, anything that bridges the gap is worth a try.
                                                                                                                                                   

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Crash Course



Joseph came from a family line of wealthy livestock herders all the way back to his great-great grandfather, Abraham. How was a sheep herder going to learn the administration skills needed to be second in command to the nation of Egypt? How was he going to go from the pasture to the palace? 


Joseph was favored, handpicked by God for something big and when his jealous brothers threw him into that pit they didn’t realize they were catapulting Joseph into the very thing they hated him for. On the far end of their hatred and jealousy was Joseph’s destiny - one they would eventually bow down to just as Joseph's dream had revealed.


As a slave in Potiphar’s house and the General Manager of a prison he learned the administration skills he was going to need to bring an entire nation through one of the worst famines ever recorded in the known world at that time. He learned protocol for management: how to handle business with all of its accounting and transactions. He learned how to deal with difficult people, criticism, unfair accusation and temptation.  He also learned about forgiveness, mercy, humility, patience and endurance. Joseph received a crash course in Preparation For Royalty 101. School was in session and the curriculum was difficult!


Are you in a place you find uncomfortable, don’t understand or even despise right now? Would you think about it in a different way today? Maybe this time and place is preparation for the greater thing God has planned up ahead. Don’t waste it! Look around, pay attention, apply yourself to wisdom, learn and grow there and in due time you will be promoted from what you don’t see into the clarity of your task and fulfilling purpose. 


God is working in every difficult situation of your life for your good, so work with Him, not against Him, and be encouraged!

 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. Genesis 45:4-8

(Read the entire amazing story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50).

Monday, March 18, 2013

Wisdom Is Calling

According to Proverbs eight, Wisdom is personified as a woman who goes into the busy streets of the city calling for those who would seek her. Many destructive voices constantly call mankind away from an upright life but Wisdom, according to the Message Bible, draws us to a life defined by good counsel, common sense, insight and virtue. These qualities are certainly needed in our current generation.

Wisdom's neighbors are listed as Sanity, Knowledge, Discretion, Wealth, Glory, Honor and a Good Name. She and her companions live at the intersection of Righteous Road and Justice Avenue. The real estate value of this space cannot be estimated! It is priced far above all wealth possible to obtain in a lifetime.

Proverbs also tells us Wisdom begins with fearing the Lord (Proverbs 9:10; 15:33). Fear, as the word is used here, does not mean to be afraid, but to show respect and honor. Proverbs 8:13 defines the fear of the Lord as hating evil, or hating the things God hates. Some of the evil God hates, is defined in chapter six and several other places in Proverbs. If I truly honor God, I will love what is good and hate what is evil, according to the standard that He sets, not the standards of society, culture or the world.

James said if we need wisdom we should ask God for it and He will give it generously to those who believe (James 1:5). If Wisdom is on the street corner calling loudly and God is so willing to give it to me, it shouldn't be hard to find. Many voices compete for attention above Wisdom's, but if I am listening intently and diligently seeking, Wisdom and I will discover each other and become good companions; in doing that I receive abundant life and God's favor.

So the important question is: what am I seeking and what voice am I listening to today?

Proverbs 8:34-35 (MSB) Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me [Wisdom], awake and ready for me each morning,alert and responsive as I start my day’s work. When you find me, you find life, real life, to say nothing of God’s good pleasure.


Psalm 51:6 (NKJ) You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.