A
parent of a young child asked us, “What is the secret to raising kids who don’t
stray from God and doing right, even through the teen years and into adulthood?”
The
answer wasn’t one we had completely formulated in our minds, because it was a question we had ever been asked. I had to ponder on it. Though
we had successfully raised two boys, we certainly knew it wasn’t because we were
flawless, perfect parents!
I
discovered a large part of the answer in a very sad statement buried in a
context that describes the end of Joshua’s life, one of Israel’s great leaders,
from Judges 2:10. When all the elderly men that out lived Joshua, those who had
witnessed the things God had done for Israel, died “a new generation grew up that had not personally experienced the Lord’s presence or seen what he had done
for Israel.”
This
new generation was enjoying the good life in the Promise Land that their
predecessors had fought, struggled and died to obtain, but they had no personal
experience with God to understand the promise or value of it. Consequently they
turned from Him and began to worship the false gods of the nations around them.
We
can believe what we believe, tell our kids what they should believe and try to
make them believe it, but until they
have a personal experience with God, unless they experience His presence in a
way that is life changing, God will be our thing, not theirs. One of the most
important things we can do, from the time our children arrive, is to pray they
will experience God for themselves in a very tangible way, then create an
atmosphere in our family life that equips them with an awareness of who He is
and how unconditionally He loves them.
When
a child reaches an age where he begins to question everything he has been
taught, parents tend to panic and label it as rebellion, but often, the child is
only becoming aware of himself and testing his place in the world. In this formative
stage of developing his own identity, a child may have doubts about the reality
of God. He may need to further examine the teachings he has heard growing up in
a home and church where God’s word is believed and (hopefully) lived.
I
remember telling our son, David, when he was around twelve years old, he
shouldn’t believe anything just because we, the pastor or youth leader said it. He needed to pray, read and search it out for himself so that
it would become real to him. I showed him where God said, “If you seek me you will
find me” (Jeremiah 29:13). Our kids need to know that God will reveal Himself
to anyone who sincerely asks. They also need to understand that they are personally
accountable for what they do with Jesus and the truth He gives. Living off mom
and dad’s faith just doesn’t cut it and won’t keep them for the long haul.
It’s
risky and uncomfortable business giving a child the freedom, within the
boundaries of your watchful eye of course, to discover God for himself. We
can’t take it as an affront when they question the things that have been drilled
into them since their first breath. Children grow into adults with free will
and choice. They don’t always choose well or right, there’s no guarantee in
that, but if they have mighty encounters with the God who created and loves
them, they are less likely to go astray, less apt to be pulled away by the
enticements of the world and if they do stray, are more likely to
return.
David,
wrote this song about the exodus of his generation from following Christ:
Perfect Ghosts
Which came
first, empty hearts or empty pews
Which is worse when a thousand options mean a thousand truths
A tepid verse, your parents god with weekly dues
It don't work, soap box faith with shadowed shoes
Which is worse when a thousand options mean a thousand truths
A tepid verse, your parents god with weekly dues
It don't work, soap box faith with shadowed shoes
I've seen the
ghosts of our fathers in the walls
It grows, it grows our fear of these dark halls
We groan, we groan for something to feel like home
Because in the end perfect ghosts can't love at all
It grows, it grows our fear of these dark halls
We groan, we groan for something to feel like home
Because in the end perfect ghosts can't love at all
I'd rather shake
the hand of a joker then hand of a king
Most royalty are wolves feeding on sheep's mistakes
It don't relate, wide smiles with rules to break
When everything's fake why wouldn't we walk away
Most royalty are wolves feeding on sheep's mistakes
It don't relate, wide smiles with rules to break
When everything's fake why wouldn't we walk away
I've seen the
ghosts of our fathers in the walls
It grows, it grows our fear of these dark halls
We groan, we groan for something to feel like home
Because in the end perfect ghosts can't love at all
It grows, it grows our fear of these dark halls
We groan, we groan for something to feel like home
Because in the end perfect ghosts can't love at all
Its about to
change, I'll kiss my demons on the open floor
When it comes to faith your either in or a prisoner of war
When it comes to faith your either in or a prisoner of war
No
one can experience Jesus for us, so in our own lives, make it personal, keep it
real and pray, pray, pray that our kids encounter God so genuinely, they do the
same. A child who loves and serves the Lord with all his heart, for all of his
life is the greatest blessing a parent could hope for.
Judges 2: 7 The
people worshiped the Lord
throughout Joshua’s lifetime and as long as the elderly men who outlived him
remained alive. These men had witnessed all the great things the Lord had done for Israel. 8 Joshua
son of Nun, the Lord’s servant,
died at the age of one hundred ten. 9 The people buried him in
his allotted land in Timnath Heres in the hill country of Ephraim, north of
Mount Gaash. 10 That entire generation passed away; a new
generation grew up that had not personally experienced the Lord’s presence or seen what he had done
for Israel
11 The Israelites did evil before the Lord by worshiping the Baals. 12 They
abandoned the Lord God of their
ancestors who brought them out of the land of Egypt. They followed other
gods—the gods of the nations who lived around them. They worshiped them and
made the Lord angry. 13 They
abandoned the Lord and worshiped
Baal and the Ashtoreths.