Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Making It Personal, Keeping It Real



A parent of a young child asked us, “What is the secret to raising kids who don’t stray from God and doing right, even through the teen years and into adulthood?” 


The answer wasn’t one we had completely formulated in our minds, because it was a question we had ever been asked. I had to ponder on it. Though we had successfully raised two boys, we certainly knew it wasn’t because we were flawless, perfect parents!


I discovered a large part of the answer in a very sad statement buried in a context that describes the end of Joshua’s life, one of Israel’s great leaders, from Judges 2:10. When all the elderly men that out lived Joshua, those who had witnessed the things God had done for Israel, dieda new generation grew up that had not personally experienced the Lord’s presence or seen what he had done for Israel.”
 

This new generation was enjoying the good life in the Promise Land that their predecessors had fought, struggled and died to obtain, but they had no personal experience with God to understand the promise or value of it. Consequently they turned from Him and began to worship the false gods of the nations around them.


We can believe what we believe, tell our kids what they should believe and try to make them believe it, but until  they have a personal experience with God, unless they experience His presence in a way that is life changing, God will be our thing, not theirs. One of the most important things we can do, from the time our children arrive, is to pray they will experience God for themselves in a very tangible way, then create an atmosphere in our family life that equips them with an awareness of who He is and how unconditionally He loves them.


When a child reaches an age where he begins to question everything he has been taught, parents tend to panic and label it as rebellion, but often, the child is only becoming aware of himself and testing his place in the world. In this formative stage of developing his own identity, a child may have doubts about the reality of God. He may need to further examine the teachings he has heard growing up in a home and church where God’s word is believed and (hopefully) lived. 


I remember telling our son, David, when he was around twelve years old, he shouldn’t believe anything just because we, the pastor or youth leader said it. He needed to pray, read and search it out for himself so that it would become real to him. I showed him where God said, “If you seek me you will find me” (Jeremiah 29:13). Our kids need to know that God will reveal Himself to anyone who sincerely asks. They also need to understand that they are personally accountable for what they do with Jesus and the truth He gives. Living off mom and dad’s faith just doesn’t cut it and won’t keep them for the long haul.


It’s risky and uncomfortable business giving a child the freedom, within the boundaries of your watchful eye of course, to discover God for himself. We can’t take it as an affront when they question the things that have been drilled into them since their first breath. Children grow into adults with free will and choice. They don’t always choose well or right, there’s no guarantee in that, but if they have mighty encounters with the God who created and loves them, they are less likely to go astray, less apt to be pulled away by the enticements of the world and if they do stray, are more likely to return.


David, wrote this song about the exodus of his generation from following Christ:


Perfect Ghosts

Which came first, empty hearts or empty pews
Which is worse when a thousand options mean a thousand truths
A tepid verse, your parents god with weekly dues
It don't work, soap box faith with shadowed shoes

I've seen the ghosts of our fathers in the walls
It grows, it grows our fear of these dark halls
We groan, we groan for something to feel like home
Because in the end perfect ghosts can't love at all

I'd rather shake the hand of a joker then hand of a king
Most royalty are wolves feeding on sheep's mistakes
It don't relate, wide smiles with rules to break
When everything's fake why wouldn't we walk away
I've seen the ghosts of our fathers in the walls
It grows, it grows our fear of these dark halls
We groan, we groan for something to feel like home
Because in the end perfect ghosts can't love at all

Its about to change, I'll kiss my demons on the open floor
When it comes to faith your either in or a prisoner of war 
 
No one can experience Jesus for us, so in our own lives, make it personal, keep it real and pray, pray, pray that our kids encounter God so genuinely, they do the same. A child who loves and serves the Lord with all his heart, for all of his life is the greatest blessing a parent could hope for.

John 4:41-42 And many more believed because of his [Jesus'] word. They said to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.”

Judges 2: The people worshiped the Lord throughout Joshua’s lifetime and as long as the elderly men who outlived him remained alive. These men had witnessed all the great things the Lord had done for Israel. Joshua son of Nun, the Lord’s servant, died at the age of one hundred ten. The people buried him in his allotted land in Timnath Heres in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gaash. 10 That entire generation passed away; a new generation grew up that had not personally experienced the Lord’s presence or seen what he had done for Israel

11 The Israelites did evil before the Lord by worshiping the Baals. 12 They abandoned the Lord God of their ancestors who brought them out of the land of Egypt. They followed other gods—the gods of the nations who lived around them. They worshiped them and made the Lord angry. 13 They abandoned the Lord and worshiped Baal and the Ashtoreths.


Monday, April 22, 2013

Heart Attack!

A few days following the Aurora, Colorado theater shooting, I went to the post office to mail a CD and buy a book of stamps.  As I  placed my small, bubble wrap lined, mail envelope on the counter, the clerk asked the usual,  “Does your package contain anything liquid, perishable, fragile or potentially hazardous?”

"No," I smiled, " it's just a CD. Nothing dangerous in there."

By his demeanor, I could tell the guy was in a grumpy mood, but it was his response that revealed how troubled he was about the recent tragedy. 

 "We'll you never know now days. Could be instructions on how to build a bomb or take out a theater full of people on a DVD."

"I suppose that's possible, but I don't know much about guns and nothing about bombs. This is just a Microsoft program for a friend's computer," I assured him.

He weighed the envelope, "It seems like people can take each other out with anything if their mind is set on it, guns, bombs, razor blades, it doesn't matter.I don't know what's wrong with people anymore. There's gotta' be something that can be done about it"

He stamped the postage on the envelope so hard I hoped he didn't break the CD inside. 

"There is, " I said as he pulled a book of stamps from underneath the counter. He stopped midway, staring at me, waiting for me to continue. "This isn't a gun or bomb problem, this is a heart problem."

His gaze changed from curiosity to perplexity and I went on, "The only thing that can really fix a person is a heart change and the only one who can change a person's heart is Jesus." 

Immediately his expression went dark and the conversation shut down like an off switch had just been tripped. He shoved the stamps toward me, grabbed my money and slapped the change with a bang back on the counter, then turned around and walked away. There was no, 'Can I get you anything else today?' or 'Have a nice day, Ma'am." None of that for me!

I left there with a greater realization of how offensive Jesus is to some. He is not always the answer people want to hear. Though the existence of sin in the world requires the rule of law for maintaining justice, controlling outward behavior with more rules and regulations rarely gets to the root of our dilemma. That's like putting a bandaid on a tumor. Jesus dealt with this problem constantly during his earthly ministry. He never danced around the perimeter of an issue but always went right to the heart of dealing with our brokenness.

Anytime our country is overrun by the wicked plans of men, media pundits and government officials want to guarantee us that it will never happen again. I don't believe that's possible. Jeremiah 17:9 says, " The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"  A person's actions display what is in his heart, whether good or evil. Proverbs 23:7 states, "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

Our nation is having one 'heart' attack after another and emergency intervention is desperately needed. We are under attack by people whose hearts have been overtaken by great darkness.  Other tragedies, the senseless slaughter of little children in a Connecticut school and the recent bombing of innocent bystanders at the Boston Marathon, give credence to that fact. 

The price of man's sin is always death (Romans 6:23) but God gave all of us a way out in the gift of His son, Jesus, and has set us into this historical time to be light in the midst of darkness.  So what can we do? 

~We must be certain our own heart is right before God. Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me.."

~We must know God's word in order to stand firmly in times of despair, doubt and temptation. Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

~We must pray continuously for our nation, state, leaders, churches, family, friends and not give up. Luke 18:1 "...men ought always to pray and not to faint [lose hope]."  We must also pray for our enemies even though it is not easy to do. Matthew 5:43-44  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,"

~We must overcome fear of current events with a sound mind and the power of love.  2Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

~We must be ambassadors of Christ's love one person at a time, living the Good News of the Gospel within our world of influence. 2 Corinthians 3:2-3,"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, recognized and read by everyone. It is clear that you are Christ’s letter..not written with ink but with the Spirit of the living God—not on stone tablets but on tablets that are hearts of flesh."

Counter attack the forces of evil with a heart full of Jesus, love and truth and give our nation a heart attack that will do it some good.

Luke 24:46-47 '[Jesus] said to them, “This is what is written: the Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and a change of heart and life for the forgiveness of sins must be preached in his name to all nations..'

Monday, April 15, 2013

Instead of a Mortgage...



While most guys Jon’s age are paying mortgages, car payments, utility bills, giving lunch money to their teenager or buying diapers for their toddler, he is spending his money on very distinctive things.

His forays into the lengthy aisles of the dollar store are fascinating and always leave me with a sense of wonder over what interests him.

Jon's recent list of purchased items consisted of:

•A pitchfork shaped glow stick - that's sort of cool actually.

•A greeting card he will not send to anyone - he will write non-readable things on it and carry it around for a while.

•A bundle of girls plastic hair bands - sometimes he wears them but mostly uses them for holding his stuff together, maybe wrapping one around three stuffed animals or last week's newspaper confiscated from the recycle bin.

•A bag of chips, two Kraft snack packs of bread sticks with cheese dip and an oversized Hershey bar - food is always a good choice. 

•A package of brightly colored Mardi Gras beads - no idea what he does with them. 

•A package of ponytail elastics - uses these to hold things together and also wears them on his wrists or ankles.

•A drinking glass -?? like we don't already have a cupboard full of those?

•A plastic sword - adding to his array of Karate/Ninja chopping items. 

•Three sets of collectors cards, NBA and baseball - never watches sports so....??

•A spy kit – probably spying on me so he can hide next time he sees me coming with a clean shirt for him to put on.

There were more items that I don't remember but you get the idea.  The entire accumulation totaled $20. Whatever isn't edible will end up on the floor in his room, in his shorts pockets or in a grocery bag in the back seat of the car next time we go out.

If Jon lived alone we would definitely be watching him on an episode of the TV reality show, Hoarders, and he would probably be sporting the striped beach towel cape (a towel with holes cut out on each side to put your arms through) that he designed and tried to wear into the dollar store. 

Maybe he should try out for Project Runway instead or the next Batman film.







Saturday, April 13, 2013

More Than a Chair



Jon has had a recliner in his room in front of his TV, where he watches his DVD’s and old VHS movies, since we moved to Florida. This particular old chair came with us from New Hampshire twelve years ago and had seen better days. It was stiff and ripped from years of overuse and no amount of scrubbing improved the look of the tan vinyl. It was time for it to go to old furniture heaven.

Those of you who’ve been around us for any length of time know we are craigslist junkies. Most every major purchase item taking up space in our home and driveway comes from craigslist. My money saving husband is a huge proponent of letting others pay full price for something, use it four times, decide they don’t want it, then sell it to him for less than half the original cost. He get’s thrills and chills from obtaining a nearly new item at a bargain. So when it was time to buy Jon a new chair, Mike visited his favorite store-craigslist.com. 

We didn’t want to pay much. Jon is not very kind to his possessions, so after looking for a few weeks we finally found him a decent used recliner at a decent price, borrowed a truck from a friend and went to pick it up. At least that’s what we thought was the only purpose of this venture.

While Mike was tying the chair down inside the truck bed the woman we were purchasing it from (I’ll call her Susan) and I began chatting. In the course of our conversation she shared that she was moving and selling a lot of her furniture-“downsizing” is how she put it. Also, as often does, the question of Mike’s occupation came up and the fact that he is a pastor. 

We paid her and were getting ready to hop in the truck to leave. As Susan started to walk back toward her garage she turned suddenly and called out, “Pastor Mike, Oh Pastor Mike, I wonder if you could do something for me before you go.”

I turned around, looked at her and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Do you need us to pray for you?”

She immediately dropped her face into her hands and began to sob uncontrollably. I went to her and gathered her shaking body up in my arms holding her for about three minutes while she cried all over me. When she gained enough composure to speak she half cried, half yelled, “Why did God have to take him away?!”

“Who have you lost?” I asked gently.

“My husband,” Susan wailed, grief pouring from the depths of her being, “He just died suddenly of a heart attack. He was only 62. Now he’s gone and that’s why I’m moving. That chair you’re buying is his.” 
She stared at Mike, giant tears gliding down her face, like he could somehow wave a magic wand and make it all ok or at least give her an answer that made sense.

We couldn’t give her an answer of course, because we don’t know. We don’t know why people die suddenly, why tragedies occur, why things just don’t make sense sometimes but we could tell her about The Answer-Jesus. The man of sorrows who died to take every ounce of grief, heart wrenching pain and confusion we can face in this life, upon Himself to give us hope and peace. And we prayed with her, hugged her and tried our best to give her some comfort in the few minutes God divinely ordained us to be there. 

As it turned out Susan did want Mike to muscle something in the garage for her that needed fixing, something that required having a man around to do. He helped her with that and she thanked him profusely. We asked her if she needed anything else, said our goodbyes with a promise to continue praying for her and left with her husband’s recliner gently shifting in the wind in the truck bed as we drove the highway home. ‘

Anytime I walk into Jon’s room, I will be reminded of a day we thought we were just going to make a purchase, but God knew of a heartbroken woman thirty miles away who needed a hug, a prayer, a ray of hope, so He set up a divine appointment - with a chair.

If you think you need a title, a platform, or a microphone, to do ministry, think again. Right this very minute opportunity to give away the love of Jesus is all around you. Ministry happens anytime, anywhere there’s you and people in need, so open your eyes, open your ears, open your heart and be aware of the “chair” moments that arise in the routine events of your every day .

I Peter 3:15 Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,

Friday, April 12, 2013

Watching Your Waiting

This morning, I spent two and a half hours at the lab, waiting to have the “vampire’ nurse (my nick name for phlebotomists :)) draw blood for my annual physical next week. At least thirty people were ahead of me when I arrived and a steady stream flowing in behind me; so many people, there weren’t enough seats for everyone. 

Since this lab is the only one covered by my insurance and it closes at three everyday and is not open weekends, today was my only option. Mike has Fridays off and he was home with Jon. I knew I was in for a long wait so I signed in and settled myself with my friend’s new book, fresh off the publisher’s press last week, and delved into chapter three, where I had left off.

During pauses in reading, I realized several things:
  • People are mad when they have to wait. Ninety percent of the folks in that room were fidgeting, sighing and complaining-loudly-with the two gals behind the reception desk the target of everyone’s impatience. I put my reading aside for a while and observed these two harried employees. Though overwhelmed, they were working hard to process the masses through quickly. It was obvious they were trying to hold it together, maintaining a decorum of courtesy and self control in spite of a slew of angry patients adding burden to their workload .  
  •  People don’t entertain themselves very well. Maybe our technology has turned us into a culture of ADD types with toddler attention spans. There was only one other person in the room reading a book, oblivious to the chaos around him. No one came prepared for a long wait and that only perpetuated more impatience.
Galatians 5:22 lists patience as one of the fruit of the Spirit. If I am intentional about walking in the Spirit everyday as Galatians 5:25 exhorts, then my fruit should be coming more evident. When out in the community am I mirroring an image of Christ that reflects His glory or one that damages it?  Christ followers should be the most patient people in the room, in the line, on the freeway, in the world. 
The world is watching. The folks in that waiting room this morning sure were. Watching each other was the only thing they had to do. What did they see when they looked at me?

Heavenly Father, by the power of the Spirit at work in us who claim to be Your followers, may others see the good fruit of patience manifested in us everywhere we go and in everything we do. Today, we submit to Your work in our heart and life to bring us to that result.

James 1:4  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

My Thirty Two Year Old Teenager




Jon tried to leave the house last night at 1 am. I heard the door alarm sound and by the time I got my asleep self out of bed and found my shoes, he was headed around the side of the house with two grocery bags and a back pack full of stuff. Last week he wandered away in the middle of the day while I was in the front yard watering the flowers. I found him in an adjoining neighborhood on the other side of the lake behind our house.

I think I need to be that many eyed critter Ezekiel saw in his vision (Ezekiel 10:12). I used to tell my boys that mothers have eyes in the back of their heads and that go around corners and they believed me, but Jon has proved my theory to be incorrect.

I don’t know where he thought he was going. If asked he doesn’t say. I had plenty to say though. 

Things like: “Where in the world do you think you’re going in the middle of the night.” 

“It’s dark out here, a bear could eat you and we would never see you again.” 

“I was sleeping, you’re supposed to be too.” 

“If you take off in the night the neighbors will call the police and your wandering record at the police department is already so long their computers keep crashing.”

You know- exaggerated things mothers always say and everyone, including Jon, ignores.

I’m living with a thirty two year old bad attitude teenager. Jon has been slow in reaching most of life’s phases. He didn’t walk until he was two and a half, didn’t start saying words until he was four and wasn’t completely out of diapers until he was about eight. I think the adolescent years have finally arrived! He doesn’t like me, won’t talk and won’t come out of his room. What does that sound like to you?

I get the feeling Jon doesn’t want to be here anymore. He is bored with us (can't blame him there), but more than that he is bored with his life as it is. He is now refusing to go to the day program he was attending. I made and cancelled three appointments to tour the ARC in Deland, another day program with a work component, because he won’t go. I rescheduled a recent doctor appointment for him for the same reason. Tomorrow he has a dentist appointment. Wish me luck with that!

Occasionally I manage to get him out of the house. Usually after offering to take him to the movies, bowling, library, shopping or for lunch, dinner, someplace, anyplace, I get a scowl in return and a closed bedroom door in my face. Lately he only comes out to eat or take off someplace. 

So what’s a mom to do? He’s too old to spank or put in time out. Beg, plead, implore? One percent success rate on that. Restricting privileges? What privileges? Kick him out? He might actually like that but no... can’t do that. Pray? Yes, I do plenty of that. I understand I Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing”. It seems to be all I do these days. 

Prayer is my sanity and my medicine. I’ve learned that running to God instead of blaming Him for everything keeps my heart light and my emotions in check. I pray for Jon and for us and for solutions to a problem that looms bigger than a mountain. I’m expecting an answer to come, when or how remains to be seen. But that is what walking in faith is all about.

While I wait, I ask God to give me Ezekiel’s winged creature eyeballs, if not literally, at least by the Holy Spirit to my own spirit so I can keep track of this guy-my wandering, bad attitude, adult, teenager who I love with all my heart.