When Friends Become Family

In 1985, while living in New Hampshire, we heard of a small church in a small town, south and slightly west of Portland, Maine, that needed a pastor. Mike was asked to fill the pulpit on rotating Sundays until this congregation could find someone permanent. The first Sunday we were there, a couple who attended the church invited us over for lunch. From that day until this, some twenty eight years later, Earl and Pat have impacted our lives in ways I would never imagine.

Like all of us, I’ve had innumerable acquaintances and friends over the years, but I’ve discovered that there are only a handful of folks in life that spark a connection that is both immediate and deep. From the moment you say, “Hello, my name is….” they are destined to be indelibly inscribed on your heart. This was the instantaneous bond that took place between Pat and I that Sunday, with no regard for the twenty years in age difference between us.

As circumstances would have it, we became pastor of that small church for a time and moved to Maine. Our friendship with Earl and Pat deepened and evolved past the norm. We became family, though we don’t share a drop of natural blood. Being part of God’s family, with the precious spirit of Christ coursing through our veins, while sharing life together made us family in every way possible.

By the time Earl retired from his trade and took up another occupation on Catalina Island, off the coast of California, we were moving back to New Hampshire. The miles between didn’t discourage us though.  There were many trips, criss-crossing to wherever we each happen to live at the moment; California, New Hampshire, back to Maine when they finally returned to New England and then to Florida following our move here.  After months or even a few years of separation, it was as if we had never been apart. We just picked up where we left off and expanded the bond of love even further.

Earl and Pat accepted and loved our oldest son, born with special needs and all the challenges that presented, without hesitation. Pat was with me when our second son was born and watched him come into the world. They gladly became substitute grandparents to our boys. Pat helped and encouraged me through years of struggling with severe rheumatoid arthritis, even while she was dealing with chronic illness herself. She was there for me when my mother passed away. We have carried each other through many sorrows, cried together, prayed together, laughed hysterically as often as possible and rejoiced together in times of joy and celebration.  

I write this on a plane, flying back home to Florida after visiting my beloved “family” in Maine. I am now the age Pat was when we first met and Earl and Pat are getting along in years. Pat has health issues that make it difficult for them to travel like they once did, but as the years pass, our love for one another remains immovable, solid, strong.

We are not given the option to select the family we are born into and even though we choose our friends, I believe God directs our steps and the details of our days. He ordains certain people to come along side and walk with us and they decide whether to remain in our lives or not. The few that stick it out through all our stuff are true jewels. Those who see and know us as we truly are, in our strengths, weaknesses, faults, failures, through the better and worse, and keep coming back, are the genuine treasures in life we all hope to find.  These rare gems outshine all others, just like the beautiful sea glass that my children used to uncover, hidden in billions of stones on our favorite Maine beach.

Pat has filled many roles in my life - as needed: friend, sister, mother, grandmother, counselor, comforter, caregiver; but most of all she is the true definition of family and because of her and Earl, I and my family have been blessed beyond measure.  At this moment, while I contemplate the mystery and delight of our long lasting friendship, I am aware that I am inept to adequately express my gratitude…..

So I just say, to my beloved friends, from the very depths of my heart……I love you and thank you for being my family.

 Proverbs 17:17 (The Message Bible) Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.