Hurricane Sandy is way out to sea, some two hundred miles off the coast of Florida; still our weather has been affected by this storm for several days now, though not severely (thank goodness!) but with cloud cover (our solar hot water tank is sad), windy conditions (my potted plants keep blowing over) and intermittent rain showers (windows open or closed?). It's amazing how something so distant can have such far reaching affects.

The thought came to me as I looked out the window this morning at another rare cloudy Florida day; do I even realize what affect I have on others and how far the outer bands of my words, behavior and attitudes stretch? We live in a society that shouts, "Live and let live!" and "What I do isn't hurting anyone so don't bother me." Not everyone will be caught up in the eye of our stormy actions but the ripple effect of every action we take may influence more than we know.

The people of the church in Philippi were instructed by Apostle Paul: "Whatever happens, conduct your selves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." (Philippians 1:27). So Lord Jesus, remind us today that the outer bands of our life are affecting others, and grant us grace to take stock of every word, opinion and deed as our influence spreads far and wide.

Are We There Yet?

A while ago I traveled from Florida to the northeast and back and in doing so came to a conclusion about myself, I love going places but I hate getting there. This is something I’ve known for a while but was reluctant to admit. I am not a good traveler by plane or car. Airports and planes annoy me and long car trips bore me. Ironically, I find it almost impossible to sleep in a plane but after driving for more than an hour I’m nodding off. Because I’m prone to motion sickness, there isn’t much I can do in a car that requires having my focus off the horizon for more than a few minutes at a time.

 

As I sat in the airport, waiting to board the plane and contemplating this introspection, I questioned whether this fault could also apply to my life. Am I headed for the destination without enjoying the journey? Sometimes I feel like the little kid in the backseat, asking in continuous five minute intervals, “Are we there yet?” 

As a member of the Baby Boomer generation, I've lived in an era where we have fast and easy access to most anything we want, even if we can't afford it. Discontent and impatience run deep through our core. We want 'it' now and when 'it' finally comes we are soon bored or unhappy again and move on to the next big event or thing we think will bring happiness and satisfaction. When we are five we can't wait to be 6. When we're 13 we can't wait to be 18. When we're 18 we can't wait to be 21. When we're 50 we want to be 21 again.  We can't wait for: the weekend, vacation, graduation, freedom from our parents, the new car, the next paycheck, that promotion, the next bonus, a new house, time off, the kids to grow up, grandchildren, retirement, or to: find our soul mate, get married, have a baby, get that awesome job, have more money and on and on....We waste so much time thinking, hoping and longing for what hasn't happen yet that we miss whole blocks of enjoyment in the now.  "If only....then things would be good."  When life becomes a fast forward video flashing from highlight to highlight, we miss out on much of what gives it meaning today.

Philippians 3:12-14 tells me that Paul ‘wasn’t there yet’. He was still in travel mode, pressing on toward the destination. There is a race, a journey, an adventure, we are all on and according to Mr. Paul the goal is this: I want to know Him [Jesus]. I want to have the same power in my life that raised Jesus from the dead. I want to understand and have a share in His sufferings and be like Christ in His death (verse 10 NLV). I agree. I want the power, the understanding, the answers, the miracles, goose bumps and fun stuff of life… but… the suffering?! The word ‘press’ in this passage comes from two Greek verbs that mean to pursue and to persecute or suffer. Either Paul is crazy or he knows something I’m still in the process of figuring out.

 I 'm convinced, since Paul writes a good portion of the New Testament from prison, he understands that we don’t arrive at our destination quickly or easily. It involves a lifetime of travel with many potholes and detours along the way. He tells the church in verse sixteen, so let us keep on obeying the same truth we have already been following. In other words just keep doing what you’ve been doing. Not very exciting is it? Continue on, plod on, one step at a time, one day at a time, pressing on and on and on…. 

I remember as a young wife and new mom, reading Proverbs 31, the one that lists the endless virtues of a Biblical superwoman. Incompetency and inadequacy overwhelmed me when comparing my efforts to hers. I mentioned my feelings to an older and wiser friend and her reply put me at ease. “Diane,” she said,” the Proverbs 31 woman didn’t do all those things in a day; she did them over a lifetime.” 

Life is a process and it is important to be fully aware and present in all of it, the highlights, the victories, the mundane and difficult; all of it matters. All of it is opportunity for change, growth and forward motion. Instead of rushing from one mountain top experience to the next I’m slowly discovering the value of the valley. 

When I travel now, I practice being patient and tolerant, mostly out of necessity and in spite of my dislike of security lines, airplanes or long, boring car rides. Being frustrated and miserable has no value for me or anyone around me and subtracts from the eventual pleasure and purpose of my destination. The same is true for this journey through life. With Jesus as my travel companion, I don’t need to keep asking, ‘’Are we there yet?’’ If I take His hand and keep pressing forward, He will see to it that I arrive at my proper destination, both on time and greatly improved over where our trip began.

Philippians 1:6 … being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Believe

A few days ago, Jonathan and I visited a group home in the area and talked for some time with the remarkable woman who started it for her own son who is developmentally disabled.  Jon was ready to move in. He had brought a bagful of personal items from home and found the only empty bedroom in the house, immediately claiming it by putting his things on the bed and shutting himself inside. 

These homes are costly to operate, about the price of private college tuition per person, per year. Florida, like most of our United States, is broke and budgets are frozen for the Agency for Persons with Disabilities. Jon has had eight cuts to his funding in the last two years and we've heard another big one is on the way next year. Presently, not one extra dollar of funding is available unless families are in crisis, which is defined by the state as parents or caregivers who are too sick or too dead to care for their loved one anymore.

The question that haunts every parent of a disabled child-what will happen to Jon when we are no longer here? The state will step in and place him, but we of course, won't be here to have a say in where he is put.  Not all residential facilities are created equal and some are places you wouldn’t put your dog in, never mind your child. Some families have the means to private pay for long term care but for those of us who don’t; this is a problem that doesn’t go away and one that isn't discussed at presidential debates or anyplace else. This dilemma sticks to the back of our mind like old gum underneath a table, especially as we and our child age.

So what to do?  We pray and trust that our God who created and gave us this person to love and care for will see to Jon’s every need, while we actively turn over each rock and knock on every hopeful door. It seems that we have hit one dead end after another and these situations severely test our faith. If we truly believe that as God's people, our provision ultimately comes from Him, then we know He is able to fulfill the purpose and plan He has for Jonathan. God loves him far more than we do and has not forgotten about him or us, though at times my feelings and what I see with my earthly eyes try to convince me otherwise.

 Christ’s disciples once asked Him, “What are the works God requires of us?” Jesus told them that the work God requires is simply this - to believe (John 6:28-29). The practice of walking by faith rather than by what is seen (2 Corinthians 5:7) in front of us at the moment isn't easy but it ultimately brings us to a place of peace and rest that nothing in this world can offer.

In the Gospel of Mark, chapter nine, a desperate Dad came to Jesus pleading,”Teacher…if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”  

Jesus replied, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

Then the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

I identify with this guy. I am him. He is me. He is all of us. But the good news is this; Jesus is greater than my unbelief and He is greater than my problem!  As I wait for the impossible, my faith continues to grow in this difficult place. I'm learning how to wait, trust and believe.

I know from past experience that my faithful God will come through for Jon, for us. It may not happen exactly like I imagine or at the time I think is right but it will happen in His time, in  His way and you will hear me shouting from here when it finally does :)

Psalm 37:7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him…

Lessons from My Garden-Embracing Change

When we moved from New England to Florida, I was astounded at the difficulties I encountered  gardening. I assumed the Sunshine State, the place where it doesn’t snow and temperatures rarely fall below freezing would be a gardener’s paradise, but when I tried to follow my northern habit of a summer vegetable garden, I was discouraged to the point of giving up.  

Because gardening was so different here, from the other places we have lived, I began consulting knowledgeable sources to enlighten me. I was determined to learn. My first surprise was the realization that it is pointless to plant in the summer months. Tropical plants thrive then, but typical vegetable plants that go into a northern garden can’t survive the harsh conditions of this sub-tropical season; it is too hot, humid and buggy.

I quickly learned that sand is the soil of Florida and nothing but native plants grow well in it, all soil has to be amended for planting flowers or vegetables. For that reason, the easiest way to grow a veggie garden is in raised beds or containers. I also discovered that pests and plant disease are multiplied by the year-round mild climate. Without a long season of winter freeze to kill off major populations of pests, they survive and replenish to destroy a vegetable garden in short order.  

Once I figured out what works, gardening became easy and fun. To my delight, there are two growing seasons, fall and early spring. Fall vegetable gardens are planted September through early October and can be replanted in mid-February through mid-March after the danger of January’s few frost and freezing nights are past. Having two crops a year doubles the joy. 

There are times and seasons when it is necessary to let go of the old way of doing a thing and try something new. We often balk at change, but someone has defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Wisdom to know when to hang on to something or let it go is a struggle we all face. If my relationships, my mind, health, spirit or any area of life seems withered and wilted or non-productive it is worthwhile to consider that my attitude, behavior, approach or strategy needs to be altered. 

Is it time to let go and try something new? Go to Jesus, the source of life, and become a student of the One who created you. Spend time with Him and learn of Him (Matthew 11:29). The Master Gardener of the human heart knows exactly what is needed to cause the garden of your life to bloom; all you need to do is ask.

James 1:5 (NLV) If you do not have wisdom, ask God for it. He is always ready to give it to you and will never say you are wrong for asking. 

Patience

People tell me I’m a very patient person. They think I was born that way because they don’t know what I’ve been through to get here.

I woke Jon up today at 8:30 am with a hope of making it to his program by Noon-ish. At 2 pm he moseyed out of his room and got in the car. So much for that! Since he was already in the car, I decided we were hungry so I brought him to a local sports grill/deli we like, got out of the car and took a seat at a patio table outside the establishment to wait for him to join me. This is what Jon did after I left the car (I actually timed all of this, for something to do):

12 minutes -  Sat inside the car. 

3 minutes –  Stayed in the car after he finally opened the door. 

8 minutes -  Stood next to the car looking around, staring at the ground, doing ?????, just standing there! He finally closed the door. I locked the door with my remote.

4 minutes – Fooled with door handle. Punched numbers into an “imaginary” keypad on the door, used some gadget from his pocket as a “remote” to pretend he was locking or unlocking the door.

2 minutes – Stood by the car some more.

2 minutes – Stood on the grass median that divides the parking lot from the driving lane.

1 minute – Walked across driving lane to restaurant. Thank goodness no one ran over him!

2 minutes – Stood outside the restaurant door.

I stood up, opened the door and waited for him to go through. He stopped in the doorway so I booted him inside. That was at 3:15 pm and we’re still here. It is now 7:00 pm and all he has eaten is French fries and half a slider.

So here are my options: go stark raving crazy or learn patience? Most of the time I opt for the latter! 

Anybody need more patience? Will let you borrow Jon for as long as needed….Anyone? Please??

Philippians 4:11 I have learned [am learning-help me Jesus!] how to be content in any circumstance

When Friends Become Family

In 1985, while living in New Hampshire, we heard of a small church in a small town, south and slightly west of Portland, Maine, that needed a pastor. Mike was asked to fill the pulpit on rotating Sundays until this congregation could find someone permanent. The first Sunday we were there, a couple who attended the church invited us over for lunch. From that day until this, some twenty eight years later, Earl and Pat have impacted our lives in ways I would never imagine.

Like all of us, I’ve had innumerable acquaintances and friends over the years, but I’ve discovered that there are only a handful of folks in life that spark a connection that is both immediate and deep. From the moment you say, “Hello, my name is….” they are destined to be indelibly inscribed on your heart. This was the instantaneous bond that took place between Pat and I that Sunday, with no regard for the twenty years in age difference between us.

As circumstances would have it, we became pastor of that small church for a time and moved to Maine. Our friendship with Earl and Pat deepened and evolved past the norm. We became family, though we don’t share a drop of natural blood. Being part of God’s family, with the precious spirit of Christ coursing through our veins, while sharing life together made us family in every way possible.

By the time Earl retired from his trade and took up another occupation on Catalina Island, off the coast of California, we were moving back to New Hampshire. The miles between didn’t discourage us though.  There were many trips, criss-crossing to wherever we each happen to live at the moment; California, New Hampshire, back to Maine when they finally returned to New England and then to Florida following our move here.  After months or even a few years of separation, it was as if we had never been apart. We just picked up where we left off and expanded the bond of love even further.

Earl and Pat accepted and loved our oldest son, born with special needs and all the challenges that presented, without hesitation. Pat was with me when our second son was born and watched him come into the world. They gladly became substitute grandparents to our boys. Pat helped and encouraged me through years of struggling with severe rheumatoid arthritis, even while she was dealing with chronic illness herself. She was there for me when my mother passed away. We have carried each other through many sorrows, cried together, prayed together, laughed hysterically as often as possible and rejoiced together in times of joy and celebration.  

I write this on a plane, flying back home to Florida after visiting my beloved “family” in Maine. I am now the age Pat was when we first met and Earl and Pat are getting along in years. Pat has health issues that make it difficult for them to travel like they once did, but as the years pass, our love for one another remains immovable, solid, strong.

We are not given the option to select the family we are born into and even though we choose our friends, I believe God directs our steps and the details of our days. He ordains certain people to come along side and walk with us and they decide whether to remain in our lives or not. The few that stick it out through all our stuff are true jewels. Those who see and know us as we truly are, in our strengths, weaknesses, faults, failures, through the better and worse, and keep coming back, are the genuine treasures in life we all hope to find.  These rare gems outshine all others, just like the beautiful sea glass that my children used to uncover, hidden in billions of stones on our favorite Maine beach.

Pat has filled many roles in my life - as needed: friend, sister, mother, grandmother, counselor, comforter, caregiver; but most of all she is the true definition of family and because of her and Earl, I and my family have been blessed beyond measure.  At this moment, while I contemplate the mystery and delight of our long lasting friendship, I am aware that I am inept to adequately express my gratitude…..

So I just say, to my beloved friends, from the very depths of my heart……I love you and thank you for being my family.

 Proverbs 17:17 (The Message Bible) Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.